Twins
by Antigone2
Summary: Minako has found true love! Again. But, there is a little problem... will Usagi help Minako catch the man of her dreams... by pretending to be Minako's twin sister! COMPLETE AS OF 9/17. Yey!
1.

Twins  
Capture one: 'Finding Love! Minako's Brillant Plan!' or "Usagi: You Want Me to WHAT?"

I leaned my elbows down on the Formica of the counter, my vision trained and my mind completely focused. I could hear my heart beat in my chest but as my sense locked on target I completely forgot everything else around me, my mission became clear to me in that one, single moment of clarity every warrior faces before the final showdown.

The figure was at 3 o'clock and moving with confidence and grace out of the Crown Arcade. Tall. Blue eyes. My future husband. I just knew it.

Standing up, I readied myself.  
This is it.

Minako Aino. Femme fatal.

I reached out and wrapped my fingers around the door handle.

* * *

Stumbling a little, the young student jumped as he felt his hand cover someone else's.

"Oh, excuse me!" he murmured politely. The girl who looked up at him just smiled in a way that made him half want to ask her number, half want to cut and run.

"No problem. It was my fault." She said, grinning with what should have been way too many blinding white teeth.

He smiled back, again having a quick debate with himself whether he ought to leave. She was cute and all, but-  
"My name is Aino Minako."

Apparently he was fond of puns.

And a conversation ensued. His first name was Kazuaki, which he immediately gave her permission to use. Sitting across from him in a booth at the diner (they both "suddenly" had a craving for an impromptu cup of coffee),

Minako couldn't help feeling elated. Finally! Her time had come, true love was within her grasp. To think that all this time of dreaming and searching was over, and finally she was three little feet away from the person that complete her life, make her whole, make her forget all abo-

"Are you ready to go, 'nii-san?" a voice by her elbow asked. A very familiar voice.

Startled, Minako looked up into Kazuaki's blue eyes. But...wasn't he just...  
Eyes the size of saucers, Minako whipped her head back and forth between the identical faces. "Nani?"

Kazuaki gave a little, sheepish half-smile. "Oh yeah. This is Kaworu. My little brother."

Twisting his mouth a little, Kaworu offered Minako, "We are twins."

Sweatdrop. "Of course," she murmured, "I knew that."

"I must apologize about our names," the apparently younger boy continued, "Our parents are so mundanely cutesy."  
'Beautiful Child of Love' scowled a little.

"Well," sheepish-ness was replaced by embarrassment and regret as Kazuaki pushed his chair back to stand up, "we should really be going. It was nice meeting you Aino Minako-san."

"Let's meet again, Kazuaki-kun," she replied politely, inclining her head listlessly. She knew a rejection when she heard one.

Kaworu rolled his eyes at his brother and headed toward the door, waiting impatiently for Kazuaki.

The guy in question just shrugged helplessly at Minako's downcast face. "I'd really like to see you again, Minako-chan, but I won't go out unless my brother can, too."

Smiling at his bluntness, Minako confidently tossed glittering strands of blonde behind her shoulder. "Oh, don't worry, I have lots of friends..."

"We only date twins. Sorry." Kazuaki said firmly, turning to meet his brother.

DARN IT! Frustration and disappointment built up as Minako slid back down into her seat. Yet...  
No! This was too close for her to blow this chance! Kazuaki was so... cute... the way his brown hair fell into his face, the way his eyes lit up when he talked about himself, and, most importantly, the way... he was there.  
'Well, are you the Ai no senshi or not?' Minako asked herself, 'Don't give up on true love, it only comes to those who believe!'

Just as the boys were nearly out the door, the Senshi of Love, Aphrodite herself, the beauty Aino Minako stood up and held out a perfectly shaped, manicured hand.

"Wait!"

* * *

"YOU TOLD HIM WHAT?" a chorus of female voices shouted at the defenseless blonde.

Minako shrugged a little. "I told him I had... a twin sister?" She offered a nervous smile.

The dark-haired shrine miko slapped herself on the forehead. "Just when I think you can't surprise us anymore, Minako..."

"What? Rei, I don't do stuff like this all the time! Only when my future happiness is at stake!"

"Minako," Makoto added from her seat on the porch of Rei's grandfather's shrine, "you only talked to the guy for about five minutes. How do you know he's even worth the web of lies you'll have to weave?"

"Not to mention they are going to want to meet this 'twin' of yours sooner or later, Minako-chan," Ami said wisely.

Minako moaned dramatically. "Actually, it's more like 'sooner'. We have a date planed for next Saturday. Only, Kazuaki-kun's expecting me to bring a date for Kaworu, and the only problem is she doesn't EXIST!"

Laughing, Rei shook her head. "You really got yourself into this one, Minako-chan."

She sniffled. "Love is worth a fair war, Rei-chan."

Sweatdrops all around.

"Minako I'm not exactly sure even what you mean, but..."

"The things I do for love!" she was still wailing dramatically, the back of her hand pressed against her forehead, blue eyes becoming water pools of misery dutiful heartbreak.

"Yeah. The things you do for love. Like that time you dated two men, *our enemies* no less..." Makoto was getting into this whole situation. For once, it wasn't her!

"...that time you told that guy you were a high school student but forgot you were still wearing your uniform..."

"...that time you yelled at those little boys picking on Chibi Usa just to attract a man, and it turned out that he was their father!"

Makoto sweatdropped. "Um...Rei? That last one was me."

"*Anyway*," Minako was quick to change the subject, "back to my date. What can I do?"

"Cancel." Ami said, giving Minako a very adult, mature look, "or tell him the truth and let him cancel. Those are your only choices at this point."

Pout.

"Aw, c'mon Minako, you wouldn't want this guy anyway," Makoto said helpfully.

Sulk.

"I mean, 'only dates twins'? That's just not normal. In fact, it borders on psychotic." Rei tried to calm her down.  
Wavering eyes.

Ami searched her mind, "Well... you could just use a friend and say you are fraternal twins. You didn't say your non-existent sister was identical to you."

Minako brightened. "Yeah! Hey, Kaworu's really cute, you guys, you'd li-"

Mako-chan laughed. "No way. No one would believe we were related." The tall, lanky girl grinned.

The dark-haired and eyed Rei shrugged to the fair-colored girl. "Ditto, Mina-P. Not that I'd date one of the Bobsey Psycho brothers, anyway." She added for good measure.

Ami just raised an eyebrow at Minako's look, saying 'What do you THINK I'm going to say?' without even any words.

Minako felt herself sink even deeper into the darkness of hopelessness and despair. Why do the horrible things always happen to the beautiful people?

"What am I going to *do* you guys? I can't cancel. All I need is someone who could pass for-"

Yes, it was her entrance by every story clich‚ there could be.

Stumbling onto the grounds, out of breath and dragging all the fresh air of springtime with her, Tsukino Usagi brushed the blonde hair away from her baby-blue eyes and flashed the group a blinding smile.

"-my sister." Minako finished, trailing off.

"I have a *really* good excuse..." Usagi started, oblivious to pained looks on her friend's faces, "for being so late, you see..." she faltered as Minako started walking toward her, mouth curved upwards and eyes beginning to sparkle.

Usagi nervously backed away, but her feet weren't exactly used to pivotal, reflexive moments and suddenly she was sitting on her butt on the ground, with Minako nearly bursting with joy.

"Usagi-chan!" she squealed, "My best friend!"

'Uh-oh.'

Smiling shakily, Usagi climbed to her feet unsteadily. "Hi, Mina-P! Genki desu?"

The poor girl apparently didn't notice Ami's twitch or Mako's desperate attempt to write 'Save yourself' in the dirt with her foot. Rei went inside to go bang her head against the wall a few times.

Minako thoughtfully sucked in her cheeks, placing a cool hand on Usagi's face. "Hmm..." she tugged some curls down from where they were twirled into pigtails.

'Yeah, it's definitely lighter, and finer than my hair,' Minako appraised, 'and she is much paler than I am. And her eyes aren't as deep blue.' She sighed. 'We can't all be perfect, I suppose.'

But still... Usagi's eyes were nicely shaped, Minako supposed, and she had the luminous 'moon princess' type quality that could compliment Minako's sunny gold-centered complexion while still being similar enough to not draw any suspicions.

In fact...

"Usagi-chan, you are almost as pretty as me!" Minako exclaimed in surprise. She took Usagi's hand and dragged her into the temple.

A rare sweatdrop appeared between the smaller girl's eyebrows. "Um...arigato?" she answered, still trying to think about what was going on. Not exactly being a perceptive mastermind, the perplexed girl had no choice but to keep wondering until someone explained it to her, very slowly and using small words.

No one had such a chance, and so that's how Usagi found herself inside, suddenly standing before someone she used to love and trust and cherish as a true friend, but was now very frightened of. Aino Minako suddenly became almost evil looking when she held a hairbrush and a make-up kit.

"Matte... Mina-P... " holding up her hands in a surrender-like motion, Usagi found herself looking around desperately for her friends. Who seem to have disappeared. Oh sure. They dive in front of her to prevent the relatively mild sting of horrendous death by youma, but when *Minako* had make-over mode attacks, they are *nowhere* to be found. 'Where's Rei? This is *her* house for godsakes...'

"What is this all about?" Usagi asked, trying to distract Minako from her suddenly, very egocentric craving to apparently make stuff look like her.

Minako blinked. And paled. Obviously she forgot Usagi still had to *agree* to this entire thing.

Biting her lip, Minako stood back a little and observed the situation. Usagi was eager to help out any friend in need, especially for the sake of love. However, due to rather obvious reasons, she also didn't like pretending to be someone she wasn't, when she could help it. Then again, she was very open-minded about meeting new people. On the other hand, there was that pesky little morality of Usagi's that would really turn out to be a pain in the butt.

But she was Aino Minako! She could talk her way into anything! Taking a deep breath, widening her eyes, and biting her lip sadly, she turned to Usagi.

"Do you believe I deserve love?" she asked.

This was going to be child's play.

* * *

"You want me to WHAT?"

Or not.

"Look, Usag-"

"Are you CRAZY?"

Placing a hand on Usagi's shoulder, Minako said, "Usagi, please! You have no idea what this means to me!"

Usagi gave her a Look. "I am not pretending to be your sister, Minako!"

Minako's eyebrows knitted together. Usagi was hardly *ever* so irrefutable, why was she acting so out of character? And where did she learn that Look?

"Why not? Is there something wrong with me?" Tears formed along the sides of the actress's eyes. "I always wanted a sister, Usagi-chan," she whispered, "and when I met you... we were so alike and got a long so well, for a while... I felt I'd found one." Minako gave Usagi a shaky smile. Pressing her fist to her own heart, "Right here."

Touched, Usagi reached out to her friend, "Oh Minako, it's n-Wait a minute! You are just saying this so I'll date that guy for you!"

Darn.

"Not true!" Minako said, "I'm horrified you'd accuse me of such a thing."

Narrowing her eyes, Usagi returned Minako's pout with one of her own. "You are so MEAN, Minako!"

Clutching both of Usagi's shoulders with her hands, Minako faced her friend desperately. "Don't cry, Usagi! Just help me, please!"

Minako threw out one of the last cards in my game. "For me!"

Usagi opted to use her best defense. "Minako-chan wants me to cheat on my Mamo-chan!" she screamed in misery. Taking a deep breath, she shut her eyes and *wailed*.

Birds flew off the branches outside, and people on the street below stopped and stared.

Behind the door, three girls jumped a mile and fell down on top of each other. Climbing out of the pile of herfriends, Ami picked up a cracked piece of glass and stared at it in amazement.

"Her voice cracked the glass..."

"Next time remind me to use plastic cups for eavesdropping." Rei muttered, putting an injured finger in her mouth.

"Who needs a glass, anyway?" Makoto asked dryly. Usagi's wails still shook the temples foundations.

"It's a testament to the holy ground this is build on that she hasn't made it fall down years ago." Rei said under her breath, as all three girls dared the dangerous mission to enter the room.

The two girls stood at odds, feet apart, on guard. Usagi looked apprehensive, tears still streaming down her face. Minako's eyes were dry but desperate. Both had fists clenched and a gleam in the blue of their eyes.

'Ironically, I see Minako's point,' Rei thought, 'they DO seem an awful lot alike sometimes...'

Minako watched Usagi's expression. 'Damn, I forgot about Mamoru-san.' That was a major kink in the works.

'Well, I hoped it wouldn't come to this but...'

"Usagi-chan?" she said sweetly.

Swallow. "Hai?"

"Won't you please do me this favor? I'll return it, I promise."

"Minako, I SAID-"

Before she could explode Minako hurried to finish her statement. "By never telling the others about-you know."

"You *wouldn't*!"

"Desperate calls measure time, Usagi-chan." Minako said sagely.

"Tell us what?" the girls cried eagerly.

Blushing, Usagi gave Minako dagger eyes. "I call your bluff. I'm never, ever, by no stretch of the imagination, under any circumstances, going to pretend to be your twin and go out on this date!"

* * *

Saturday Night.

Usagi scowled as Minako added the finishing touches to the orange/red bow that had taken the place of the usual Odangos.

"You look so wonderful with your hair like this, Usagi-chan," Minako chattered to her happily. Lately, she was all too happy to cater to Usagi's every wish, now that she had gotten what she wanted. 'By threat of blackmail,'

Usagi remembered darkly. However, she refused to allow Usagi the comfort of wearing her usual hairstyle.

"Everyone should wear their hair this way, though, I think," Minako was thinking to herself out loud again. "But especially people with the amazing good luck of resembling me." Smiling at Usagi the way a child does a doll,

Minako twisted a curls around her fingers, brushed some soft blush power over Usagi's cheeks and handed her a container of lip gloss.

"Some of this and we are almost set! I'm so glad your parents aren't home tonight. I mean, this gives us so much room to prepare! And forget what Artemis would say if he knew what I was doing."

Usagi's face resembled a thundercloud. "When I'm ruler of the world, Aino Minako, you will suffer. Slowly. Painfully..."

"Did you say something?" Minako breezed, still smiling and smelling of perfume and make-up and confidence.  
Usagi glared at her.

Offering the girl one of her own 1000 watt grins, the taller girl ordered, "C'mon smile!"

*Ring*

Baring her teeth in a rather eerie parody of any emotion other than homicidal rage, Usagi walked over the phone.  
"Moshi moshi. Tsukino desu." She bit out through her teeth.

Then she screamed at the top of her lungs and held the phone in front of her face, holding it as if it was a poisonous snake.

Minako giggled. "Just tell them 'No, I don't like scary movies', and hang up," she joked.

Not cracking a smile, Usagi lifted the phone back up to her ear. "Gomen nasai, for screaming, Mamo-chan, " she said, wondering if her tiara would still work, and if it would work against so-called friends with ugly hair bows.

"What? Oh. Nothing. I am doing nothing tonight! No. Oh! Well, I'm studying. Yeah. Big test...gotta get an A..."

Minako was making cutting motions across her neck. "Usagi-chan, you're choking!"

"Right, well I know I don't usually study... but tomorrow I have this huge... Right! Tomorrow! On Sunday, I know . It's weird. Well! Um..." her voice went up a few octaves. It was difficult to hear her but the neighbor's dog started barking. "I really have to go now, I love you bye!" She slammed down the phone, breathing heavily and very pale.

"Smooth," Minako commented.

"I really, really hate you right now, Minako."

Hate? Uh-oh... This really was unlike Usagi. Maybe this date wasn't worth threatening a friendship. "Look, Usagi-chan, if you don't want-"

*Ding-dong*

Suddenly forgetting everything she was saying and thinking, Minako jumped in the air and squealed. "They are here!"

She ran downstairs as fast as anyone in high heels can.

Then she ran back upstairs, pulled Usagi away from staring at the telephone, and dragged her downstairs.

Sighing, Usagi reached out and pulled the door open.

Here goes nothing.

Famous. Last. Words.

End part one.

Part two ( 'A New Horror Approaches! High School Boys and Dating!' or "He's Ain't Severely Neurotic, He's My Brother") has... some popcorn. A chick flick. The patented "yawn" move. Some scary encounters of the third kind, and the underlying bitterness to an unfair world, as expressed in headless gummy bears.  
Ok, ok, and maybe a banana phone or two as well.

~Semi-inspired by Full House, believe it or not. Also by the episode where Usagi and Minako chase Haruka around. They looked like twins.

(No, I have *no* idea what kind of backmail paydirt Minako has on Usagi that the others don't. Use your imagination. I think I've overworked mine. )

~Antigone  
2000


	2. 

Twins by Antigone

Chapter Two: 'A New Horror Approaches! High School Boys and Dating!' or "He's Ain't  
Severely Neurotic, He's My Brother"

The evening started innocently enough. The boys had a taxi waiting for them, in fact,  
Kaworu was sitting in the front seat already, swapping stories with the white-gloved taxi driver.

Kazuaki grinned as he walked down the Tsukino's driveway with Minako, talking animatedly as  
she used linked her left arm through his.

Her right arm was busy dragging Usagi behind her, by the elbow. The smaller girl was  
tripping over her high-heeled shoes and stumbling to keep up with Minako's superhuman grip, all  
the while muttering words under her breath that her mother would have blushed to hear.

Although she looked beautiful under the moonlight with blonde curls loose around her face, the  
sparkle in her bright blue eyes was pure deadliness, and focused straight at her oblivious "sister."

This was going to be a long night.

After Kazuaki helped Usagi and then Minako into the backseat, he joined them and  
introduced his brother.

"Kaworu, you've met Aino Minako, of course," he flashed a grin to the blue-eyed blonde  
nearest to him, "and this is Aino Usagi-chan, her sister."

Kaworu nodded icily to Minako, a polite half-smile pulling on one side of his face. Then he  
turned slightly to get the first look at his date for the evening.

The second thing he noticed was that she was drop-dead gorgeous.

The third thing he noticed was that besides a slight resemblance, she wasn't identical to  
Minako at all.

But the first thing he had realized about his date for the night was that her blue gaze was  
locked onto him as if she was almost looking forward to his untimely demise.

At her hands.

'Sometimes, Kazuaki,' he thought, 'I really hate you.'

"So," Kazuaki said cheerfully as he lounged in the cab, his hands behind his head, "tell  
me a little bit about yourself, girls."

Usagi grunted, her arms crossed as she stared out the window like she thought she could  
break the glass if she glared hard enough. All present sweatdropped.

"Well, what would you like to know?" Minako asked pleasantly, leaning toward Kazuaki to  
speak.

"So, who is older?" Asked Kaworu from the front seat, after he stopped flipping the radio  
stations from classic rock to acid rock to classic acid rock and finally to modern classic acid rock.

"I am," Minako said nodding.

Silence reigned again. Kaworu played with some more buttons, cringing when the  
Backstreet Boys blared out of one station, only to die a quick death as the taxi driver reached  
over to turn off the radio.

Sighing with frustration, Kazuaki leaned over to his brother and said in what he  
apparently thought was a stage-whisper, "KAWORU, WHY DON'T YOU ASK USAGI-CHAN  
SOMETHING?"

Then he made an exaggerated move with his head to Usagi, then to Kaworu, and winked  
slowly.  
"Well, that was a little too subtle for me to really pick up on," Kaworu said, "seeing as how  
I am stupid and blind, but maybe I should ask Usagi-chan something."

Usagi raised one perfect eye-brow at Kaworu.

"Hai?" she said coldly.

"So uh… " he sweatdropped, for some reason picturing himself as a pile of moondust, of  
all things, although he had no idea why, "when's your birthday?"

"June 30th," she answered abruptly at the same Minako jumped in with, "October 22nd."

There was a pause. The brothers shared a look in the review mirror.

"Well," Kaworu finally said, "it must have been one hell of a labor."

* * *

"C'mon, Usagi-chan," Minako whispered frantically in her friend's ear as stood before the  
movie posters, the boys discussing what they would like to see, "it's not that big a deal. Let it go,  
okay?"

"Let it go?" she whispered back, "Let it go? 'Please excuse my sister, my parents  
dropped her on head as a child, so she's a little slow' and I'm supposed to let that go?"

Minako shrugged, biting her lip, "Gomen Usagi-chan, but really! I mean, how else were  
they going to believe that you'd get your own birthday wrong! By four months forgodsakes! You  
should be grateful I made up an excuse for you!"

It was probably lucky for Minako that she was so busy admiring Kazuaki's figure as he  
stood before the poster for the newest Jackie Chan movie that she missed the faint color of  
purple Usagi was turning.

"Well, let's go get in our two cents before they chose the movie for us!" Minako said  
lightly, putting her arm around her fuming friend and walking to the boys.

"So what's the verdict so far?" she asked, grinning as Kazuaki came over to stand by her.

"Well, the newest martial arts movie looks really good."  
She raised her eyebrows.

"Apparently," Kazuaki's eyes were lit up as he explained, animatedly talking with his  
hands, "there are over 42 violent explosions, 12 gang fights, 7 guys in leather with bad accents,  
and a half-way conceivable plot!"

Usagi looked up at him for a minute before asking, in her sweet child-like voice, "So,  
there is fighting? And violence? And people end up dead?"

"Uh-huh," Kazuaki nodded.

"I'm in." Might as well vent some of my anger through Jackie Chan kicking baddie butt,  
she thought.

Minako removed her arm and glared at her fake sister, "But Usagi-chan! Would you  
rather see a romance?" She gestured at the newest teeny-bopper romance flick, 'Drive Me Down To You', "It has the guy from Dawson's Creek in it!"

"I want martial arts!" Said Kazuaki.

"I want romance!" Cried Minako.

"A *romance*?" Kaworu stuck his finger down his throat, making an unattractive noise,  
"Gag me."

"Okay," Usagi answered cheerfully.

"I want my mommy," offered Kaworu, sweat dropping.

"I want to go home," said Usagi.

"Let's get some snacks!" Minako's voice was tinged with desperation.

* * *

"You know," Minako muttered under her breath as Kazuaki purchased popcorn for him  
and Junior Mints for his date, "You don't have to be so ice-princess-y to Kaworu-san."

Usagi sighed. "Demo, Minako, I don't want him to… end up…" her voice dropped in  
completely disgust, "*liking* me or anything."

Pursing her lips a little, she said, "Well, you know, some guys do like when girls act all  
coy and standoffish. Maybe if you didn't want him to have romantic feelings for you, you could  
just act like your normal self a—OUCH!"

The brothers turned around in concern as Minako limped around a bit, clutching at her  
left foot.

Usagi smiled as she hid her high-heeled right foot behind her leg. "Oops."

* * *

It was later that the foursome found seats in the front row for the newest teenage high  
school romance flick, Kaworu struggling with a large popcorn, super size soda, bag of gummy  
bears, and a kit-kat bar.

After they were all seated, to Usagi's dismay she was placed between Minako and  
Kaworu, the younger of the twin boys handed the food to the younger of the "twin" girls.

"Thanks!" Usagi said, giving him her first real smile of the night, "So, what are you going  
to have?"

Kaworu wondered for a moment if one could actually dehydrate from sweatdropping at  
their date too much in one night.

The lights dimmed, the music started, and the group sat back as the previews flashed  
across the screen.

The brothers exchanged a look, over Usagi and Minako's heads. One grinned. The  
night had just begun.

It was about five minutes into the first half of the coming attractions, Pepsi commercials,  
and theater disclaimer that always preceded every major motion picture, when Kazuaki pretended  
to yawn, stretching his arms over the back of Minako's seat. She giggled, snuggling in closer as  
they placed the popcorn bucket between them, letting their hands brush together.  
'Gee, this isn't so bad,' Minako thought, relaxing a little, 'rather worth the hell I went  
through to get here.'

Out of the corner of his blue eyes, Kaworu glanced at Usagi. She caught him looking,  
and pressed even further to the other side of her seat, narrowing her eyes at him. "You try  
anything," she said in a voice she had heard Mako-chan use more than once, "and this is you."

With a flip a soft gummy object fell into the boy's hand.

A yellow gummy bear lay flat across his palm, the head no where to be found.

'I didn't realize we were dating the Sweet Valley Psycho Twins' he thought, sending a  
glare over to his rather engrossed older brother.

Yes, the night was just beginning.

Dammit.

* * *

"Oh, you mean you want to take ME to Prom?" an overly excited seiyuu's voice filled the  
theater, dubbed poorly over an American actress with too much lipstick.

'Gosh, American teens are obsessed with this "prom" thing,' Usagi thought, shaking her  
head, 'I wonder what that is… some sort of food maybe?'

She jumped as Minako shifted, her elbow hitting Usagi's shoulder.

Again.

"And to think I could have been watching stuff explode," Kaworu muttered under his  
breath, his arms crossed over his chest. Usagi glared at him.

This was getting insane! It wasn't like he loved blind dates, but Kazuaki had insisted they  
only date other twins, as to avoid messy breakups, mix ups, and blow ups. God, but his brother  
could be an idiot sometimes. A very, very insistent idiot. With a thing for blondes.

However, as much as he hated blind dates, he didn't seem to be as against it as this  
'Tsukino' girl, (or that was her name according to the mailbox at the house they where they had  
picked up the girls). He wondered whether his brother was falling for their trick.

Probably. Probably didn't even realize they were being played for fools.

Kaworu watched impassively as Usagi and Minako pushed past him, noting for once it  
was his brother's date being dragged forcefully somewhere.

Once the girls disappeared and the boys were alone, he turned to Kazuaki's lipstick-  
stained face.

"Onii-chan, this sucks," he said, "it's time for some fun."

Two can play at this game, he thought.

* * *

"Jeeze, Usagi-chan," Minako said, as she took advantage of the mirror in the girl's room,  
"what was so important you had to drag me out of the theater?"

Usagi just glowered. Her face was starting to hurt from keeping this form.

"Minako-chan," she said, her voice like steel, "I am hating this. More than I thought I  
would. I am NOT having fun. I hate this movie, I hate my date, I am having a guilt attack worse  
then a tsunami every time I even think of Mamo-chan, and even my damn gummy bears are  
stale!" Stamping her foot, this time on the tile instead of Minako's foot, thankfully, the angry little  
rabbit awaiting her friend's reaction.

For a moment Minako just stared back into Usagi's eyes. Then she sighed.

"Gomen." She said. Usagi nearly fell over.

"Nani?"

"I said I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Usagi-chan, I really, really am. But," Minako stared at her  
reflection in the mirror, sad blue eyes into sad blue eyes, "I think I really feel something for  
Kazuaki-kun. I wouldn't put you through anymore of this if it didn't mean a lot to me."

Usagi visibly softened, shoulders slumping, feeling slightly less tense now  
that…that…horrid…*high school* boy was far, far away from her.

"I'm not doing this again," Usagi said, "after this American kissing movie is over, I'm going  
home and we are never. To. Speak. Of. This. Again."

'I guess once I convince Kazuaki we are meant to me, he'll understand if my 'sister'  
doesn't want to go out anymore.'

"Okay." Minako said, putting a hand on her friend's shoulder, "thank you, Usagi-chan,"  
she smiled.

After a while Usagi smiled back.

"Hey, Minako-chan?" Usagi asked, as her friend was packing her make-up back into her  
purse.

"Hai?" the girls turned to leave, walking through the girl's room door.

"There is something in this movie that is confusing me…"

"Hmm?"

"What's a 'French kiss'?"

Minako raised her eyebrows, blushing a little, "You mean you don't *know*?" She  
motioned for Usagi to lower her voice in the crowded lobby.

Usagi shook her head, wide blue eyes staring innocently and trustingly up at her older,  
wise-in-the-ways-of-love friend. "Uh-uh."

Still blushing, Minako glanced quickly around and then whispered something quickly into Usagi's ear. The smaller girl gasped, putting a shocked hand to her mouth, a bright flush staining  
her cheeks as well.

She looked up at Minako in amazement, her next words causing heads to turn throughout  
the refreshment stand and ticket booth area,

"You—you mean they have a *name* for that!"

And, once again, Tsukino Usagi found herself being dragged by the elbow at breakneck  
speed to someplace she really didn't want to be.

"C'mon Usagi-chan," Minako mumbled, still recovering from her friend's outburst before,  
"take heart, the movie is almost half-over."

They walked through the doors while Usagi repeated that glorious phrase over and over  
in her mind, 'almost half-over, almost half-over.'

However, the real night ahead was truly just beginning.

* * *

To be continued in Part Three: 'The Dance of Deception! It Takes Two to Tango' or "Watch Your  
HANDS You Hentai!"  
Including fun ways to inflict pain on your blind date, the real reasons accident-prone  
people should not be allowed to wield super buttery popcorn, and why you should always, always  
have a ride lined up in case of an emergency. ^^

And yeah, okay, maybe a 'nanaphone.

~Antig


	3. Chapter Three: 'The Dance of Deception'...

  
  
Twins Part Three:  
'The Dance of Deception! It Takes Two to Tango' or "Watch Your HANDS You Hentai!!"  
  
Author's Notes:  
Yey! This fic took long enough ne? But it was fun to write.   
  
  
Twins 3  
By Antigone  
  
"Are you sure?"   
  
"Yes."  
  
"Are you sure you are sure?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"…"  
  
"…"  
  
"Are you positive?!"  
  
"_Yes._"  
  
Snicker. "Only fools are positive."  
  
"Oh, god, grow UP baka."  
  
Kazuaki paused, tapping his finger to his chin. "So the girls are tricking us, eh?"  
  
Kaworu wished for the millionth time he had been an only child. "Yes."  
  
"Kaworu…"  
  
"Yes, Kazuaki?"  
  
"Let's get even."  
  
'God help me,' Kaworu thought.  
  
When a flustered Minako and flailing Usagi entered the blessed darkness of the movie   
theater, a peace settled over the former's beautiful face.   
  
She schooled her features into a dazzling smile and tossed her hair, prepared to face   
her date again and make him fall hopelessly in love with her.   
  
Minako started to stride down the isle with the poise of a beautiful, confident woman out   
to conquer the world, when she stumbled violently at the tug of Usagi's small hand on   
her sleeve.  
  
"Mina-P!" the future queen of the world whispered.  
  
"What!?" Minako hissed, regaining her balance.  
  
"Where were we sitting?!"  
  
Minako blinked into the murky darkness and the shadowy identical figures of all the   
movie goers shoved into seats.  
  
"Damn."  
  
Tug tug.  
  
"Mina-P?"  
  
"What, Usagi!?"  
  
"I want some more popcorn."  
  
~~  
  
Kazuaki shivered slightly. "How come they always air condition movie theaters so it's   
the same temperature as the artic?" He whispered to his brother. "I'm freezing my butt   
off!"  
  
Kaworu rolled his eyes, pulling Kazuaki's sweater over his head, "It could be because   
you don't have a shirt on, baka."  
  
Kazuaki blinked, and quickly covered his bare chest with Kaworu's t-shirt. "Some   
dumbass idea you had, bro."  
  
"_I_ had?!" he said, his voice almost screeching with his effort to be quiet, "_I_ was not   
the one who decided that we should go through with this stupid date in the first place.   
NOR, brother dear brother, was I the mastermind behind the plan that required us to   
both get half naked in a movie theater, god forbid there was a fire drill and we had to   
leave the theater looking as if we just did a love scene from some Kaori Yuki-obsessed   
fangirl's eechi doushinji—"  
  
"SHHHHHH!!!!" the middle aged woman behind them finally decided she had enough of   
the noisy foursome in front of her.  
  
"Excuse me, ma'am, for hindering your enjoyment of this cinematic masterpiece,"   
Kaworu muttered, crossing his arms. "You better be right, bro."  
  
"'bout what?" Kazuaki was munching on his popcorn, watching the movie like nothing   
was wrong.  
  
"This better be as fun as you say it will."  
  
~~  
  
"Sorry, sorry!" Minako said as she excused her way through the row of annoyed movie-  
goers, peering into each one's face.  
  
"They aren't in this row," she said when she met up with Usagi in the middle isle. Usagi   
was munching happily on a super-jumbo-titanic-king-size-feeding-frenzy-for-two bucket   
of super buttery popcorn.  
  
"Not that row either," she said between bites, spraying little bits of popcorn on to   
Minako's perfect make-up job.  
  
"Ewww, Usagi, I want the news not the weather!"  
  
"SHHHHHH!!!!!"  
  
"Sorry ma'am!"  
  
Usagi began to search through the next row up, when her foot caught on the carpet of   
the isle and she tumbled backward over the back of the chair in front of her to the   
second row in. Thousands and thousands of buttery popcorn kernals rained down like…   
well, rain or something. Right over the hapless person sitting next to her.  
Blinking up in discombobulated wonder, Usagi watched the scene unfold between   
strands of golden hair falling over her eyes.  
  
"WHAT THE F--!!"  
  
"Oh my god! Usagi!"  
  
"My shirt!!"  
  
"You mean _my_ shirt, aniki!"  
  
"SHHHHH!!!"  
  
Then three voices, "Sorry, ma'am!"  
  
Usagi straightened up and looked forlornly at her popcorn, which was now a buttery   
mess on one of the brothers… um, let's see… the stripped shirt was Kaworu….so   
Kaworu's shirt. Her lip trembled, and her eyes widened.  
  
Then she began to laugh, hysterically.  
  
"We found them, Minako!" she said.  
  
"I wanna go home…" Kazuaki said under his breath.  
  
After they had settled down to finish watching the last half hour of the movie, Usagi was   
finally starting to relax. The night hadn't sucked so bad after all. She got some free   
candy, and also felt the satisfaction of dumping a whole buttery tub of messy popcorn   
over the head of one of the people responsible for the whole date anyway.  
  
All in all, life was good.  
  
And she'd never had to do this again.  
  
Grinning, she flipped some glittering strands of hair behind her shoulders, and leaned   
back in the seat, and put her hand on her knee.  
  
Wait a minute.  
  
Her hand wasn't on her knee.  
  
Then whose….   
  
"AUGH!!! HENTAI!!!!" She jumped up as quickly as she could, jujubes flying off her lap   
and on to various innocent people. The twin sitting next to her removed the offending   
hand and smacked himself in the forehead with it.  
  
A bright, blinding light filled the isle. "Excuse me," a jumpy, squeaking voice said, "is   
there a problem here?" The pimply faced usher holding the flashlight looked   
apprehensive. "We've been getting some complaints about noise…"  
  
Usagi opened her mouth to tirade against the harassment done to her person, when   
Minako quickly danced up from behind and clamped her hand over Usagi's mouth.  
  
"Oh, no, sir, everything is fine," she said, breezily. "We'll try to keep it dow—OUCH!   
What the he--, she BIT me!!"  
  
Free from Minako's grip, Usagi wailed, "No, sir, everything is NOT fine! I want to go   
home! NOW!"   
  
"Kazuaki, you idiot!"  
  
"WAAAAHHHHHH!!"  
  
"Wait, huh? I thought you were Kaworu?!"  
  
"For the first half of the movie."  
  
"WHA---?!"  
  
"WAAAAAAAHHHHH!"  
  
"You two switched on us?!"  
  
"Yeah, well, WE aren't the liars here, Aino-san and Tsukino-san!"  
  
"SHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"  
  
"Sorry!!!"  
~~~  
  
Both girls sat in silence on the curb outside of the movie theater. Hair that was perfectly   
put-up and curled was flat and frizzy and falling out of the ribbons holding it up. Make-up   
was smudged, dresses were stained.   
  
Kazuaki had been so angry at being lied to that Minako decided she probably wouldn't   
be able to win him over with just a few smiles.  
  
She got his number anyway, though.  
  
Earlier, Kaworu took Usagi aside to apologize to her, since he had a feeling that she was   
also an unwilling victim in the whole scheme. He told her about how he read her   
mailbox and knew she wasn't who she said she was. And that he was so sorry his   
brother was a pervert who tried to feel her up.   
  
Unfortunately, she was crying so hard that he finally gave up and walked away with his   
fuming brother.  
  
  
Minako sighed.   
  
"I've had better nights," she admitted. Usagi nodded.  
  
"Like that time we fought Beryl at the north pole?"  
  
"Or that time we stormed that building with that killer tree and the aliens?"  
  
"Yeah, or the time I got kidnapped by Demando?"  
  
"Or the time I dragged one of my best friends on a bogus date against her will and put   
my whole friendship in jeopardy for some guy?" Minako said, hesitantly.  
  
"Yeah, that was pretty dumb."  
  
Usagi was quiet for a bit, then smiled. "I forgive you, though."  
  
Minako breathed a sigh of relief, "Good!"  
  
"But I am never, EVER, doing something like this again!" She said pointedly.  
  
"Amen." Minako muttered.  
  
Sighing, she leaned her head on Usagi's shoulder and Usagi tilted her head to Minako's.   
The girls stared out into the night.  
  
After a few minutes, Usagi tugged on Minako's sleeve again.  
  
"Ano…. Minako?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Do we have a ride home? Or any money or anything?"  
  
"…."  
  
"…."  
  
"…."  
  
"Damn."  
  
  
Kaworu sighed as the taxi pulled up to his house. He hoped he'd never see either of   
those two girls again. Good thing Tokyo was such a big city. He shook his head. 'You   
never know what sort of weirdoes you meet.'  
  
Kazuaki ran up the stairs and slammed his door as hard as he could the second the   
twins got home. Kaworu knew he'd be sulking up there for a hours. If not days.   
  
"Oh, we have a message," he muttered, pressing the flashing 'play' button on the   
answering machine they shared.  
  
"Hello? Kazuaki-san? Kowaru-san? We need a ride home from the movie theater…."  
  
Kaworu shut his eyes. 'Why am I not an only child?!"  
~~  
  
A fresh-faced and genki, Minako smiled happily as she leaned against the wall of the   
movie theater.  
  
"Gee, Usagi-chan, we were stranded with no money and only a pay phone! How did we   
ever get in touch with the twins to come bring us home?"  
  
Usagi smiled cheerfully and reached in her purse. "Good question, Minako! Well, I am   
never out of touch with anyone now that I have my…." She pulls out a long, yellow fruit.   
"'Nanaphone!"  
  
"Nanaphone?" Minako said in awe.  
  
"That's right! Not only is it a great way to call people, (it's phone-shaped see?), but if   
you get hungry because you dumped your popcorn on an ass-grapping hentai high   
school perv, it's also a handy snack!"   
  
"Wow!" Minako tossed her hair behind her shoulder, "Where can I get one?"  
  
Usagi nodded happily, "I'm glad you asked that, Minako! Anyone can get a nanaphone!   
All you have to do is—"  
  
She stopped suddenly, and gave an over-exaggerated look of surprise, "Oh, I can't talk   
now! I have a call!"  
  
Placing the banana to her ear, she nodded happily with a grin, "Moshi moshi?"  
  
Minako winked, and gave a thumbs up.   
  
Nanaphones! Get yours today!  
(available at your neighborhood grocer)  
  
And the moral of the story is:  
  
It doesn't have make sense if it has a nanaphone.  
Or,   
All's Well that Ends Well  
Or,  
Don't you wish you had a nanaphone?  
  
  
  
The end of TWINS!   
Oh the adventure! The wonder! The magic! It touches us all!  
  
What a masterpiece of literary genius! Three thumbs up!  
  
--;; um.. yeah.   
  
REVIEW PUH-LEEEEEASE!!!!!  
  



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